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Cough

David

Do you cough so much that your coworkers won't let you cough at work? Need a place to cough in? Buy a coffin!

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Guitar

11 May 2021

Free guitar. Completely free. No strings attached.

Gas

1 May 2021

What gas weighs the least? Butane. It's a lighter fluid.

Oscars

29 April 2021

Don't believe everything you see at the Oscars. Everyone is a paid actor.

Nose

27 April 2021

Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it'd be a foot!

Running

25 April 2021

I find if I get tired from running, I just have to stop running behind cars. It's exhausting.

Twins

23 April 2021

I have twin daughters. One's name is Kate, the other, Duplikate.

Cats

21 April 2021

Why do cats like bread? So they can loaf around the house.

Zippos

15 April 2021

What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.

Jokes

13 April 2021

A well developed joke always has a photo finish.

Red Paint

6 April 2021

I dumped a bucket of red paint on someone I thought was wearing a fur jacket. They weren't. I really mis-red the situation.

Rich

2 April 2021

I have a friend who's very rich. It's from all the fortune cookies they ate.

Bagel

31 March 2021

What kind of bagels fly? A plain bagel!

Hearing

30 March 2021

What do you call a protagonist with abnormally good hearing? A Super Hearo.

Bunny

26 March 2021

Why do bunnies get mad when they're covered in warm blankets? They always become hot cross bunnies.

Karl Marx

24 March 2021

Why did Karl Marx fail his grammar class in school? He couldn't capitalize.

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