A web page walks into pub and sees a bunch of web browsers sitting at the bar. The web page walks up and asks "Hey you want to take a load of this?". Chrome turns around and immediately says "no thanks, I think you're malicious". Firefox turns around and goes "Sorry I can't really understand your markup". Defeated, the web page walks away from the bar. Internet explorer turns around and locks up.

You should always knock first on the fridge door. Just in case you see the salad dressing.

I created a fake hamburger in a 3d program. It looked amazing, probably because of all of the rendered fat.

The previous king was only a foot tall. He was a lousy king, but a great ruler.

I started writing my name in cursive. It's my signature move.

I used to have a job making origami but the company folded

I make a lot of dad jokes but not being a parent it's a real faux pa.

What is it called when a wizard has his magical enchantments peer reviewed? Spell Check.

I practiced calligraphy then became a cake decorator. My handwriting was just icing on the cake.

I used to work as an optometrist but I got fired because I lost focus.