I saw a guy tumbling down a hill once. I just couldn't stop him, he was really on a roll.

Did you hear about the rapper that went bankrupt? I hear he doesn't even have 50 cent to his name. Relevant: http://dab.im/2dwx6WM

If you neuter a cat, will it no longer have fur balls?

Good thing we had wheels during the founding of the USA. We needed all the help we could get with our revolution.

What did the colonists wear to the Boston Tea Party? Tea-Shirts

Did you know that the dinosaurs celebrated the 4th of July? They only had it once, because they played with dino-mite. You could say it started and ended with a big bang.

I tried to catch the fog, but I mist.

I never knew the gravity of throwing a ball really high into the air, but then it hit me.

Laptop attempts to remove a hat, but states "I.. can't get... it off!"

An all in one machine sitting next to it replies "Dude, that's because your caps lock is on"

Source: http://www.gocomics.com/theargylesweater/2016/02/05

If there's 1 thing I know I can count on, it's my hands.

Get this on a shirt