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I make a lot of dad jokes but not being a parent it's a real faux pa.
Don't believe everything you see at the Oscars. Everyone is a paid actor.
I told my dentist that I think I had a toothache. They told me it was all in my head.
Why doesn't a teddy bear eat cake on his birthday? He's stuffed.
Why didn't the Pilgrims wear hats for Thanksgiving?
They had to loosen their buckles to make room for seconds!
Why didn't the Pilgrims wear hats for Thanksgiving? They had to loosen their buckles to make room for seconds!