I used to work as a nighttime sniper. My job was nice, but knowing how it would all turn out was always a shot in the dark.
I fired someone at the helium factory today. I couldn't stand being spoken to in that tone of voice.
I got fired from the bomb squad yesterday. It's a shame because I had a blast on my first day.
Pregnant women are the only real body builders.
What kind of street does a ghost like the best? A dead end.
If you don't pay for your exorcism, will you be repossessed?
Why did the haunted house dislike storms? Rain dampens its spirits.
Gravity batteries have interesting potential.
What do you call a mean cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.
Good puns about steaks are a rare medium well done.
What kind of bees make milk? Boobees.
What do you call an indecisive bee? A maybe.
I heard a rumor that Pelé was dead. After looking it up, he’s still alive and kicking.
My kid was caught eating wires. I've grounded them until they've learned to conduct themselves properly.
I live next to a coin manufacturing plant. My house is valuable because it’s near mint!