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Alphabet Soup

David

I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. Then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever.

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Ghost

11 October 2021

What kind of street does a ghost like the best? A dead end.

Exorcism

8 October 2021

If you don't pay for your exorcism, will you be repossessed?

Haunted Homes

5 October 2021

Why did the haunted house dislike storms? Rain dampens its spirits.

Batteries

22 September 2021

Gravity batteries have interesting potential.

Cows

27 August 2021

What do you call a mean cow with a twitch? Beef jerky.

Steak Puns

23 August 2021

Good puns about steaks are a rare medium well done.

Bee

23 August 2021

What kind of bees make milk? Boobees.

Bee

20 August 2021

What  do you call an indecisive bee? A  maybe.

Soccer Players

16 August 2021

I heard a rumor that Pelé was dead. After looking it up,  he’s still alive and kicking.

Wires

7 July 2021

My kid was caught eating wires. I've grounded them until they've learned to conduct themselves properly.

Home valuation

3 July 2021

I live next to a coin manufacturing plant. My house is valuable because it’s near mint!

Butter

30 June 2021

I lathered myself up in butter just to see what would happen. I went downhill pretty quickly after that.

Home Building

14 June 2021

I saw an ad that said "Buy one house, get roof free". I guess that means the roof is on the house.

Drums

12 June 2021

I like to listen to drum solos over and over again, but I'm afraid of any possible repercussions.

Cow

9 June 2021

What do you call a cow with a sunburn? Roast beef.

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