What gas weighs the least? Butane. It's a lighter fluid.
Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it'd be a foot!
Why do cats like bread? So they can loaf around the house.
What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.
What kind of bagels fly? A plain bagel!
What do you call a protagonist with abnormally good hearing? A Super Hearo.
Why do bunnies get mad when they're covered in warm blankets? They always become hot cross bunnies.
Why did Karl Marx fail his grammar class in school? He couldn't capitalize.
What should a good lawyer wear to court? A proper lawsuit.
How can art dealers afford their rent? With Monet.
Why do Farmers like dubstep? They love it when the beet drops.
What computer is really good at singing? A Dell.
Where's a fortune teller's favorite place to take a vacation? Palm Beach.
Why do the nuclear scientists always have spouses? Because they're just so radiant!
Why do actors love their job so much? It's all play.