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What's the best way to see how long you sleep? By bringing a ruler to bed with you.
6:30 is the best time on the clock. Hands down.
Why is your 32nd birthday always the shortest? Because it's only 30 seconds.
What does a clock do when it's still hungry? It goes back four seconds.
If time is money, aren't ATMs time machines?
I got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. I wasn't putting in enough shifts.
My physicist friend always tells inappropriate jokes about the 5th dimension. It's never the time or place.
Someone finally told me my first 4th dimension joke today. It was about time.
I attached watches end to end to make a belt. It was a waist of time.
I'm going to teach you to cook. Lettuce begin. First you pick your fish for the halibut. Add some seasonings lightly, don't run out of thyme now!
I had a friend who would eat clocks for lunch. Eating with him was time consuming.