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Time Consuming


I had a friend who would eat clocks for lunch. Eating with him was time consuming.

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29 November 2020

What's the best way to see how long you sleep? By bringing a ruler to bed with you.

Best Time

29 August 2020

6:30 is the best time on the clock. Hands down.


29 July 2020

Why is your 32nd birthday always the shortest? Because it's only 30 seconds.


15 July 2020

What does a clock do when it's still hungry? It goes back four seconds.


3 June 2020

If time is money, aren't ATMs time machines?


26 May 2020

I got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. I wasn't putting in enough shifts.


3 April 2020

My physicist friend always tells inappropriate jokes about the 5th dimension. It's never the time or place.


20 November 2019

Someone finally told me my first 4th dimension joke today. It was about time.


13 November 2018

I looked at the clocks at the horologist's store as I walked home. It was a good way to pass time.


11 September 2018

I attached watches end to end to make a belt. It was a waist of time.

Fish Preparation

22 September 2017

I'm going to teach you to cook. Lettuce begin. First you pick your fish for the halibut. Add some seasonings lightly, don't run out of thyme now!