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I got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. I wasn't putting in enough shifts.

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Helium Factory

10 November 2021

I fired someone at the helium factory today. I couldn't stand being spoken to in that tone of voice.

Bomb Squad

7 November 2021

I got fired from the bomb squad yesterday. It's a shame because I had a blast on my first day.

Trash Collector

18 March 2021

I got a job as a garbage man, but didn't have any training. I picked it up as I went along.


23 February 2021

I used to work at a shoe factory but got fired because I didn't put any soul into my work.


27 January 2021

I have a pet who loves to float and signal boats in the water. He's a good buoy.


23 November 2020

My friend makes a million dollars a day. He works at the mint.

Financial Advisor

15 June 2020

I thought about being a financial advisor. With my background in money, it makes a lot of cents.


1 April 2020

How do morticians make money? They urn it.

Lock Picking

24 March 2020

I got a career through learning lock picking. It's opened up so many doors.


22 November 2019

Being in the window repair business can be pane-full.


27 October 2019

If you knead dough, you could get a job as a baker.


23 October 2019

I tried becoming a pilot, but that never got off the ground.


19 October 2019

I attempted to be a body builder, I just wasn't a good fit. It didn't work out.


15 October 2019

I found a passion working as an electrician, which was shocking.


13 October 2019

They all laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian. Well, nobody's laughing now!