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Heaven

David

What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake.

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Beers

4 May 2021

The baseball stadium announced giving away vaccines with the purchase of a hotdog. Who needs hotdog and a beer when you can have a hotdog and shot?

Rich

2 April 2021

I have a friend who's very rich. It's from all the fortune cookies they ate.

Bagel

31 March 2021

What kind of bagels fly? A plain bagel!

Food Coloring

20 March 2021

I accidentally swallowed food coloring. The doctor says I'm fine but I feel like I'm dyeing inside.

Oranges

16 March 2021

I tend to believe anything oranges say because they have a tang of truth to them.

Friends

12 March 2021

My friends go with me when we try new foods. They're my taste buds.

Farmers

1 March 2021

Why do Farmers like dubstep?  They love it when the beet drops.

Waffle Cars

13 February 2021

My waffle maker made tiny waffle cars. It's the only time I enjoyed a traffic jam.

Astronauts

1 February 2021

When do astronauts eat? At launch time!

Pork Roast

13 December 2020

When I'm sad, I like to make pork roast. This gives me a shoulder to cry on.

Pumpkins

29 October 2020

Why is it amazing that pumpkins are around on Halloween. They're usually flat from being squashed.

Beef

17 September 2020

Where does ground beef go to dance? The meatball!

Apple

27 August 2020

What can a whole apple do that a half apple can't do? It can look round.

Cookie

11 August 2020

Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crummy.

Clocks

15 July 2020

What does a clock do when it's still hungry? It goes back four seconds.

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