A webpage walks into a bar

A web page walks into pub and sees a bunch of web browsers sitting at the bar. The web page walks up and asks "Hey you want to take a load of this?". Chrome turns around and immediately says "no thanks, I think you're malicious". Firefox turns around and goes "Sorry I can't really understand your markup". Defeated, the web page walks away from the bar. Internet explorer turns around and locks up.

Pun Storage

I store all my dad jokes in a dad-a-base.

Computers

What does a newborn computer call its father? Data.

ATMs

If time is money, aren't ATMs time machines?

Keyboards

I got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. I wasn't putting in enough shifts.

Trees

How do trees get on the internet? They log on.

C++

Why did C++ reject C's proposal for going on a date? C has no class.

Microsoft Office

I used to be very good with Microsoft Office. My skills Excel others'. I had a great Outlook on my skills until you stole it. I'll get it back though, you have my Word.

Browsers

The best part about being a Web Browser is all the free cookies.

Booleans

The best thing about Booleans is that even if you're wrong, you're only off by a bit.

Backups

Log backups are generally a good thing to have unless it's in the toilet.

Calculator

My calculator is really something I can count on.

Get this on a shirt

Phone sex

Having phone sex might result in getting hearing aids.

iPod

I named my iPod the titanic, and now it's syncing.

Motherboard -> Mother bored

Why doesn't a person who builds computers make a good parent? Because he makes his own motherbored