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I have a friend who's very rich. It's from all the fortune cookies they ate.
What kind of bagels fly? A plain bagel!
What do you call a protagonist with abnormally good hearing? A Super Hearo.
I saw an improv show the other day starring mimes. The performance and show was spectacular, but that goes without saying.
Why do bunnies get mad when they're covered in warm blankets? They always become hot cross bunnies.
Why did Karl Marx fail his grammar class in school? He couldn't capitalize.
I was afraid of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over it.
I accidentally swallowed food coloring. The doctor says I'm fine but I feel like I'm dyeing inside.
I got a job as a garbage man, but didn't have any training. I picked it up as I went along.
I tend to believe anything oranges say because they have a tang of truth to them.
Why didn't the Pilgrims wear hats for Thanksgiving?
They had to loosen their buckles to make room for seconds!
Why didn't the Pilgrims wear hats for Thanksgiving? They had to loosen their buckles to make room for seconds!